QUESTIONS ABOUT ATTENDING A WEEKEND OF RECOVERY
If you have a question that was not addressed, please contact us.
Q: Who Qualifies As a Male Survivor?
A: Any adult man who has experienced sexual harm during childhood, as an adult, or both. Survivors may have experienced a single incident of sexual harm or multiple incidents over time. Some survivors may have been violated by a male offender, some by a female, and some by both.
We honor and respect the spectrum of sexual and gender identities; any survivor who currently identifies as male is welcome. Respect for diversity is a foundation for our events.
Q: What happens at a typical WOR or DOR?
A: Level 1 WORs have a structured agenda that includes a variety of large group activities, mixed with small group sessions and time for breaks and networking with other participants. Optional activities such as early morning Mindfulness Walks and a casual outdoor hike are available.
Although we encourage active participation, activities are designed for you to pace the level of your involvement. Confidentiality and safety are cornerstones for our time together. WOR/DORs are highly effective in lessening feelings of isolation and creating opportunities for engagement and community. We also include generous amounts of break time, providing opportunities to develop friendships.
DORs are a one-day event that highlight brief segments of a Level 1 WOR. This provides an opportunity for survivors who have financial, travel or time limitations that prevent them from attending a full WOR and/or to decide whether they want to attend a longer weekend event.
Q: What are the age requirements?
A: WOR and DOR events are open to any man who is 18 years or older, and who has experienced sexual harm during childhood, as an adult, or both.
Participants in prior events have ranged from ages 18 thru all tiers of senior years. Each event has a different composition of ages, but diversity of life years provides for a dynamic experience and offers opportunities for mutual learning and support.
Q: Are the Staff Qualified?
A: The Facilitator Team includes highly skilled clinicians, mental health practitioners, and somatic body educators. Our events do not constitute psychotherapy and serve only as an adjunctive healing resource.
However, to maintain the highest level of ethical competency, each Facilitator must maintain active licensure or certification. Many Facilitators have years of experience working with sexual harm and healing from trauma; many members of our team are nationally recognized in their area of work. We believe the diversity of attendees should be reflected amongst our team. We also include females on our Facilitator Team, as we have found gender diversity is additive to the dynamics of leadership for these healing retreats.
Q: Will I be safe?
A: Safety is a very personal consideration. We avoid making assumptions about individual and shared safety needs. Early in each event, facilitators guide participants through an exercise to identify factors that can help you to feel “safe enough.” While common safety needs emerge, this process allows an opportunity for you to contribute and address any unique concerns.
Q: Is the physical location safe?
A: We have carefully chosen each venue to provide a self-contained physical atmosphere away from city environments. This includes considerations of comfort and privacy. Pictures of each facility are included on each event description.
Most locations include a range of options from single, double, and/or triple occupancy if you are uncomfortable sharing a room.
Q: I have special food needs – what will I be able to eat?
A: Menus are carefully planned to provide tasty and healthy meals. The venue staff will do their best to accommodate special dietary requests if you inform us when you register. Events also include snacks for breaks.
Q: I have physical mobility limitations – can I participate?
A: Sites are selected with consideration for a wide range of physical mobility needs. Activities allow you to participate within your individual boundaries of physical health and mobility.
We ask that you clarify any issues of health or physical mobility during your pre-screening interview so we can work with the venue to accommodate individual needs.
Q: Where do we sleep?
A: All rooms for sleeping are physically close to the locations for dining and group meetings. Most venues have the option to register for a single, double, or triple room occupancy. Financial assistance may be available for registrations of triple and double room occupancy. Participants who have special medical or physical mobility concerns may apply for financial assistance if a single occupancy room is required to accommodate their needs.
Q: What do I need to bring?
A: Each venue provides the basic supplies of bedding and towels, all sites require that you bring basic items for personal hygiene and clothing. You are advised to pack lightly and we encourage you to bring clothing that is casual and comfortable. During the registration process, you will receive information about personal items that may be helpful to accommodate the weather and physical environment of the specific location.
Q: Can I bring a friend or partner/spouse?
A: Level 1 WOR and DOR events are structured for the needs of individual survivors. Family members/spouses are not allowed to attend. If you have a male friend or family member who is also a survivor, it may be appropriate for them to attend the same event if they go through the same application process and are fully participating for themselves.
Advanced WORs focus on the theme of intimacy and relationships; these events usually allow partners/spouses of any gender identity to participate.
Q: I worry that my victimization is not bad enough or it is too extreme.
A: Sexual harm is best healed by avoiding placement on a hierarchy or continuum of severity. Each individual survivor is impacted personally and deserves to have an opportunity to heal. Victimization may occur as a betrayal of love or trust; as a consequence of hatred or oppression; as an act of violence or exploitation. Survivors may be impacted by victimization in ways that they do not label as trauma.
Q: Do I need to be in therapy?
A: Prior engagement with some aspect of healing (e.g., therapy*, 12-step activities, support group, on-line networking, etc.) is usually beneficial before attending; but not a requirement.
Some survivors have engaged in a variety of opportunities for healing. Others have been unable to access supportive services, so attending may be their first experience of a healing resource.
A pre-event Interview of all registrants is conducted by a member of the Facilitator Team. This allows an opportunity to evaluate whether the event is appropriate for your needs, timing, and present circumstance.
*WOR/DOR retreats provide an additional resource for healing; they do not constitute psychotherapy nor are they a replacement for other mental health services.
Q: I am concerned that I am different from others; will I be accepted?
A: Respect for diversity is a foundation for our events. We include male survivors of any age (18 and above), racial identity, ethnicity, religious or spiritual affiliation, ideological belief, sexual or gender uniqueness, class or economic status, educational level, employment, or physical ability.
We also accommodate as many special needs requests as possible – e.g., physical mobility, health issues, dietary needs, etc.
We believe diversity contributes to a dynamic healing environment and allows opportunities to learn from others who may experience the world differently than yourself.
If you have other concerns, please contact us.
Q: What If I am unable To afford the cost?
A: We strive for our services to be accessible, regardless of financial resources. Please evaluate carefully your financial ability to pay the full cost of the registration fee. However, if you are unable to pay the entire fee, you can submit an application for financial assistance to cover part of the cost. Financial assistance is available for triple or double occupancy rooms. We will only consider financial assistance for single rooms from participants with special physical needs (mobility or medical) that would require a separate room.
We also welcome charitable donations that help us maintain a robust Financial Assistance Fund.
Q: Is there Financial Assistance for travel costs?
A: We are unable to provide financial assistance for travel but reduced registration fees may help to offset costs.
We schedule events at venues within a 2-hour range from a major airport. Many venues have some form of shuttle or transportation. Once you have completed your pre-screening interview and been accepted you will receive contact info for other participants to work out ride sharing.
If you need help for travel costs, we encourage you to reach out to friends or family or to consider an appeal for support from co-workers, your church, or other social groups. You might also consider Go Fund Me or another platform for an appeal.
Q: Will I be required to tell my story of sexual victimization?
A: Disclosure is a personal decision. We encourage careful consideration of what, when, and with whom to share your history.
You will be empowered with choices about what to share – or not share.
Small groups meet four times during the WOR. One session provides a structured opportunity for you to share briefly about your experience. This occurs mid-way through the weekend, after solid foundations for safety have been established and you have time to become acquainted with other participants and Facilitators.
Although you are able to disclose aspects of your history during DORs and Advanced WORs, those events do not include the specific component of a structured process for sharing.
Q: What about confidentiality?
A: MenHealing is committed to protecting confidentiality.
Establishing and honoring boundaries is an essential component of a healthy healing environment. Safety guidelines are co-created with participants at the beginning of each event to support the need for privacy and degrees of disclosure.
Q: How do I manage my anxieties and fears about attending?
A: Perhaps reviewing the preceding questions and answers is providing some degree of reassurance. If you have a therapist or some other professional caregiver, discuss with them whatever concerns will relieve your anxieties and fears. If you have specific questions or concerns, contact us.